Fathers Day is just around the corner, so I thought I would share with you what it now means to me and how I spend it now.
These kind of special days, like Mothers Day, Christmas, Easter, Birthdays and Anniversaries, all change once you have lost someone you love.
My first Fathers Day without my Dad was only 9 months after losing him and was the most difficult, but also one the most memorable.
We spent the day with my husbands family at a beautiful park. Celebrating him and his Dad for it was their day too. I tried to participate in the day but I was feeling very sad and all I could think about was my Dad while everyone else was celebrating.
What I didn’t know was my husband had secretly organised for 3 doves to be released. Three birds were my Dad’s sign to me (you can read about the signs my Dad sends me here).
So we all gathered around and shared a moment just for my Dad as we released the birds and watched them fly up into the sky. They seemed to circle around us overhead before flying off. It was a nice way to include my Dad in the day and made me feel that I wasn’t alone in my grief by my husband and his family acknowledging my Dad too.
Shortly after as I sat on a bench in front of a wall, my sister in law pointed out that the graffiti behind me just above my head was my Dad’s name ‘ROB’. Another sign.
Another year we spent Fathers Day at the same park, and we took my fathers memorial stone with us and sat him by a tree, watching over my family as we enjoyed the day together. At various times we would look over at him and reminisce, or people would stop and ask us about his stone and it was nice to share his story and the legacy he helped us create with our memorial business.
There was one year that Fathers Day was pouring with rain and so we stayed home, my husband wanted to spend his day by chilling out and watching a movie. Because it was his day, I told him to choose, and he said how about that one you wanted to watch the other day, referring to a movie I had suggested a few days previous that he had no desire to watch. I said no, its your day lets watch something you like, but he said it was fine. Shortly into the movie the lead female character got a tattoo… of three birds! My Dad found a way to send me his sign even though we were still couped up inside! I now have my own tattoo of 3 birds too.
This will be my 5th Fathers Day without my Dad. I have two sons with my husband, so we will spend the day celebrating him but I know that no matter what we do on the day, we will find a way to include my Dad and his memory, and I will be waiting for him to send me a sign.
How do you include your loved ones on special days like this?